


You know I don't play dress up.

by Angelicasdean



Category: Red Dead Redemption (Video Games)
Genre: Based on a Tumblr Post, Crack, Humor, Not Serious, Originally Posted on Tumblr, Young Arthur Morgan, Young Dutch van der Linde
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-05
Updated: 2019-08-05
Packaged: 2020-07-31 21:34:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20122018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angelicasdean/pseuds/Angelicasdean
Summary: "It's slightly crooked, and maybe a bit too big for his head, but they don't need it to be believable as much as eye catching."Basically, why Arthur hates dress up.





	You know I don't play dress up.

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [я не играю в переодевание](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22392151) by [Walter_K](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Walter_K/pseuds/Walter_K)

> Based on this post I made, that then got stuck in my head and had to write into a proper... Thing:
> 
> https://samwrittenbysam.tumblr.com/post/186763082907/arthur-morgan-got-stuffed-in-a-dress-in-the-sake

"How am I even supposed to walk in this, Hosea?" 

"Like human being, Arthur, now, stay still!" Hosea says firmly, smoothing the edge of the wig across Arthur's forehead. It's slightly crooked, and maybe a bit too big for his head, but they don't need it to be believable as much as eye catching. 

"It's poking my back," Arthur complains, in true childish manner, even if he was coming up seventeen now. His face was still boyish, which worked in their favor. Sure, it would look better with makeup, but Arthur had physically slapped it out of Bessie's hands when she approached, almost taking off the entire disguise before Dutch convinced him that they could compromise. 

"Just a few hours, Arthur," Hosea sighs, moving to fix the crumpled sleeve. Arthur shifted again, almost elbowing him in the face as he tried to get comfortable in the dress, "Look, it isn't even that uncomfortable, I wore one once," 

"But you didn't wear one like this!" Arthur snaps back, pulling the fabric out of Hosea's hand rather harshly, and there's a soft crack of tearing fabric that goes ignored by both men "It's itchy, it's scratchy, and I can't breath!" he lists, raising his arms and tugging on the corset wrapped around his middle, hidden behind the soft blue fabric of the dress. 

He isn't striking the image Dutch and Hosea strived for, with what little of a beard he has unshaved and how his frame is too big for the fit, the seams looking one breath away from bursting. They can't do much though, Annabelle had twisted her ankle terribly and neither Bessie nor Grimshaw saw fit the role; Hosea and Dutch were the hands to the whole operation, so that left poor little Arthur to take the role of the scandalous lost maiden in need of a helping hand. 

It was a really funny situation really, and Hosea was sure in a matter of days he would be laughing at the memory, but right now, it's annoying and they're running late. 

They hadn't even rehearsed his lines! 

"Well, it's a good take, and we can't abandon it because you're acting like a petulant child!" Hosea replies, voice dripping with odd impatience, and Arthur finally submits to Hosea's prying hands. 

"Fine," he huffs, letting Hosea tug on the frills, smoothing a hand down his shoulders. 

"Now, straighten your back," he directs, waiting as Arthur settles into posture, "Smile, no, not that much, that's just creepy," he waves a hand, "Smile like you just bought a new horse," 

"Is it a good horse?" Arthur asks with a mocking quirk of his head, the wig swishing dramatically and bouncing. The menace is visible in the darkness of his eyes.

He sure does want to test Hosea's patience, lucky for him, he has plenty to spare.

"Yes," Hosea replies curtly, "Now, come on, say your lines," 

Arthur stares at him for one long moment, before rolling his eyes and setting his shoulders, expression twisting into an overly dramatic helpless look, "Oh sir! Oh sir! I've seem to have gotten myself terribly lost!" he recites voice mockingly high, as one gloved hand comes up to rest across his heart, "My wretched old bastard of a husband had left me all alone!" he moves his hand to rest across his forehead, leaning back dramatically, as he fixes Hosea a blank look "I don't have anyplace to go, my good sir! Please, do you know anywhere I could go?" and with that, Arthur drops his hand, placing it on his hip and raising an unimpressed eyebrow, "that do it for you, Mister Matthews?" he asks, voice still obnoxiously high pitched

"it's... Fine," Hosea says, not entirely disappointed, he knows that Arthur wouldn't purposefully mess up their plans, but damn, can that kid be insufferable at times, "You've got you gun?" 

"and knife" Arthur confirms, voice normal again, if not a bit mumbly, "Gonna have to ruck up my skirt to get to them, but hey, element of surprise am I right?" he jokes with a bemused huff, twisting his skirt as he takes a few careful steps. Heels were out of the question, seeing as 1. His feet were too big to fit any of the ones they had 2. Arthur threw a massive fit when the idea was proposed. So underneath the lace dress was his usual boots, and strapped above his knee was his weapons, in case of emergency, of course. 

Finally, with both men ready to head out, Arthur steps out of the tent with an unusual step, probably not used to how the dress hugs him, and how the corset squeezes his torso. Dutch is already waiting for them, dressed in a three piece suit that almost matched Hosea's, if it weren't for the difference in vests. 

Dutch brightens as Arthur steps closer, and he raises a hand with a laugh, "There you are, Martha, dear, you look marvelous!" he winks jokingly and Arthur scowls at him, eyeing Goliath, his Mustang, and looking down on himself with puzzlement. 

"How am I even supposed to ride the horse!" 


End file.
